Lemon Pie
by ShunKickShunKers
Summary: Oneshot. Van Pelt shrugged and turned back to glance at her screen. The definition was still there. "Just… did you know 'lemon' had another meaning?" JISBON :D


**Just a****n idea that popped up after reading a few manga/anime fics. **

**Thanks to my half-beta for checking this :3 **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mentalist, I do not earn money on those fics, but I do own my cazy mind and the weird ideas coming from it xD Hope you will enjoy this (won't blame you if you don't :3)**

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><p><strong>Lemon Pie<strong>

_**Lemon**__** is a term used in fanfictions to warn the reader about explicit sexual scenes. Mostly concerns Anime/Manga. **_

Van Pelt blinked at her screen repetitively. No way. No freaking way. She leant back in her seat and closed her eyes. When her niece had bragged about being a popular lemon author on , the redhead was not expecting this. Although she knew how geek-ish Cassandra could be with those Japanese cartoons, especially with… Fall Mental Alchemist was it? At first, she had just wanted to know what the word 'lemon' meant in that context, not to be too surprised when she would start looking for CLoveFMA's stories. Now she wasn't sure she wanted to check her account. Obviously, Cassie had never passed to _that_ stage with her boyfriend -or so Van Pelt hoped- and the redhead did not wish to read what kind of image a fifteen-year old teenager had of lovemaking.

"What is it Grace? Is something bothering you?"

Van Pelt turned slightly and fell face-to-face with her colleague and ex-lover. Rigsby was eyeing her worryingly, no doubt wondering why she had that momentary grimace. The redhead smiled reassuringly.

"It's nothing" she said, shrugging to brush his anxiety away. Before she could keep on reassuring him, a loud frustrated cry erupted from Lisbon's office.

"_Get out now!" _

The door opened seconds afterwards and Jane rushed out, trying to avoid what looked like a pencil flying at him. People around threw an amused glance at the man before storming away. Cho, who was reading a book, raised his eyes. The blond man brushed away invisible dust and flashed a smile at the staring members.

"Ouh, tough day" he said. The three glanced at each other before focusing on the consultant.

"What did you do this time?" the tall man asked.

"Me?" Jane said in false surprise. "I didn't do anything. Maybe I just hinted she should go out with a guy friend…"

The Asian man scanned him top to bottom and grumbled:

"You basically told her to get laid?"

Van Pelt and Rigsby's jaw fell low. No wonder why the boss's scream was heard –at least- by the whole bullpen. Jane had the decency to _pretend_ to look horrified.

"I would never suggest something so bluntly!"

"Not bluntly, but strongly understated" the tall man muttered.

Cho shook his head in annoyance:

"Why can't you just tell her you want to go out with her?"

A very, very tensed silence fell upon the team. Jane merely shrugged and headed towards his couch.

"I never said that" he declared before lying down and closing his eyes. His way of saying the matter was no longer to be touched. A few moments passed, during which all were very tempted to push the conversation further, but in the end, no-one would dare try to measure up against Jane.

"Anyway" Rigsby said, turning back his attention to the redhead. "What was bothering you already?"

Van Pelt shrugged and turned back to glance at her screen. The definition was still there

"Just… did you know _lemon_ had another meaning?"

The tall man's face fell into confusion.

"Another meaning? What kind of meaning?"

"The sexual kind" Cho replied for her. He flicked a page and stared at Grace. "I got fanfic-addicted nieces too." he added as explanation. Rigsby stared at them, even more puzzled.

"What's a fanfic?"

Van Pelt offered a compassionate smile.

"It's a piece of written fiction using characters and situations from a pre-existing work. it works with books, television programs, films, and comic strips. And people sometime use fruits to classify a type of fanfic, hence lemon."

That seemed to disgust the tall man highly.

"You mean that in… fanfic is it?- lemon equal sex?"

"The very graphic stuff" Cho said impassibly, yet Van Pelt spotted the hint of amusement in his eyes. "Not extremely explicit would be _Lime_ or _pineapple_."

"Please stop" Rigsby begged, as if his world was about to crumble. "Or I doubt I'll be able to watch a lemon without thinking of… urgh!"

The two others smiled in amusement. They didn't notice the corner of the consultant's mouth lifting upwards, like every time he had a brilliant and disastrous idea.

**-LP-**

Teresa Lisbon was puzzled. Actually, she was at lost for words. A little earlier, someone from a pastry shop had delivered a cake to her desk, and not just any cake. A lemon pie. A small, yellow, rounded-shaped lemon pie. It wasn't that she didn't like pie, or lemon and she had a sweet tooth. But who would send her a _lemon pie_ in the middle of the afternoon?

Her first thought had been Jane, but then she pushed it away. If the blond man wanted to make amends for his earlier understatements with a _cake_, he would have sent her a strawberry cheesecake, not some fruit pie. Thinking of the man made her wince. It was no secret she hadn't been in a relationship for a while, but what was not to be known was the fact she hadn't been with someone for so long because of _him_. Lately, her dreams had been invaded by a certain curly blond-haired man with sparkling blue eyes… She thought the feeling was mutual, given the ways he sometimes looked at her. But after his remark earlier, she didn't know anymore.

She shook the thought away and focused on the matter at hand. Who, in his right mind, left an appetizing pie on her desk? The team? The guy in cybercrime section who had a crush on her? And why _lemon_? Was it poisoned? Someone knocked at her door office. The delivery man from earlier had returned, looking sheepish.

"Sorry ma'am, there was a card attached… I forgot to give it to you."

Lisbon thanked him indulgently –it was obvious the man was new in the job- and opened the small envelope. She took out a yellowish card, cut in the shape of a large heart, on which was written hastily in blue letters:

_If the answer's yes, don't put the chain on your door tonight. Jane_

Okay, Jane was behind the tart. But why? He knew her tastes better than that. The agent turned the card in hope to get some more indication.

_Ask the team_.

A dreadful feeling dawned upon her. Now she got it. He had done a huge stunt that only her subordinates knew about, and he was sending the cake in hope she wouldn't be too mad at him. Not wasting a second more, she hurried to the door. The couch was unoccupied, just like she dreaded, so she took a deep breath and faced the team.

"Okay, I'm ready, what did Jane do?"

Her words were greeted by surprised stares and puzzled expressions. Neither Van Pelt or Rigsby or Cho seemed to understand what she meant. Lisbon frowned.

"Jane didn't do anything?"

The three shook their head, clearly clueless. Maybe it was something else…

"Jane didn't _say_ anything?"

"I don't think so" Van Pelt started, frowning. "He was on the couch till… a few hours ago."

Lisbon glanced back inside her office. The pastry seemed to glow in the sunlight. She turned again towards the team.

"Then can someone tell me why Jane is giving me a lemon pie?"

The team's reaction was not exactly what she expected. Van Pelt's cheeks reddened, Rigsby coughed on his coffee and Cho smirked behind his book.

"What? Did I say something?" she asked, annoyed. The three glanced at each other, silently inviting their respective teammate to start. Van Pelt jumped in the water first:

"Well…" she started. "We were discussing about… something this morning. Personal stuff but not that personal…"

"Grace wanted to know what a lemon fanfic was, because her niece writes some. It's a kind of story…" Rigsby added, but she had already stopped listening to him.

Lemon. There was the hint, Lisbon thought; lemon was the key-word of the whole business. Another awkward silence ensured. The senior agent turned towards the only member who hadn't spoken yet. Cho sighed deeply, knowing he would not escape the interrogation, before finishing what his colleagues had started.

"Lemon fanfics are for adults because of their explicit content."

_If the answer's yes, don't put the chain on your door tonight__..._

A heavy flush ran over her cheeks. No, Jane wouldn't use such a way to… Lisbon scolded herself, remembering that this was Jane she was talking about.

"All right. Thank you guys" she mumbled, shutting the door of her office behind. She sat on her chair and glared at the pie; then at the little card and back on the pastry. Even through the thin walls, she heard Rigsby say:

"_You think she's going to share?"_

The sentence cracked a smile on her face, growing wider when she heard a bunch of 'hush' afterwards. A few moments afterwards, she opened her drawer, picked up a spoon, and started digging in her lemon pie.

**-LP-**

Jane was starting to get nervous. If Lisbon had followed his… instructions all right, she must have understood his little message by now. Given the enthusiasm the team had been teasing Rigsby with innuendos; they must have made the connection immediately. He knew how Lisbon looked at him when she thought no-one was looking. It was a pain she didn't pick up his hints earlier, when he had said she should go out with some male friends… him included in the lot… He wouldn't have had to buy that lemon pie and sent it to her. And he definitively wouldn't be waiting anxiously in a park for nightfall.

He had 75 percent chances of success, but also 25 percent of chances of failure. What if Lisbon took offence in the invitation? What if she got frustrated over the card? What if…

His cell phone vibrating to signal him the reception of a text almost made him jump on his bench. The message was from Lisbon all right. He pressed the button to open it, wondering what he should be expecting.

"_You could have just told me, you chicken. By the way, I want Chinese."_

A huge grin grew on his lips. He was up for a helluva night.

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><p><strong>For mangas fans, Full Metal Alchemist was misspelled on purpose <strong>**(no need to throw stuff :P) **

**Thank you for reading ****and hope it made you smile :D**


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